 BLANDFORD
BLANDFORD.
I was Transferred to 15 Battalion as a potential driver on 2nd August 1956.The main type of lorry with which we were to be associated during our time with the RASC was the Bedford RL.
At Blandford the square bashing continued, but not at such a frenetic pace or with such an emphasis on Bull.
The first part of my training was about the practical side of driving. The internal combustion engine, and how it worked.
Two weeks of concentrated lessons on how the internal combustion engine worked, how to take one to bits a put it back together again.
We had to write about what we had learnt and through this process, I gained knowledge which has always been useful to this day.
We were instructed about tyre pressures, how to remove a wheel from a lorry, and how to remove the tyre from the wheel.
Removing a tyre from a lorry wheel is made difficult by the use of a large split ring on the wheel, which had to be removed and replaced accurately, or when you inflated the tyre, the thing could fly off and decapitate you.
We also had to know about different engine and lubricating oils and their viscosity. The need for different oils for different jobs and different climates.
We learnt about using the correct tool for each particular job, and about servicing a vehicle and the servicing intervals etc.
Apart from this, we had to do camp chores in our free time. This could be working in the cookhouse, which was not a bad job because you got extra food, and we usually had a good laugh there.
Each Friday the cooks attempted to produce Fish and chips for lunch, with mixed results.
I offered to (madness) fry the fish for them one Friday. Their first reaction was "Fuck Off" but I persisted so they said ok. I arrived early and filleted and skinned the cod for them and cut it up into suitable sizes. Then I made the batter and let it stand for a while.
About half an hour before lunch I started to fry the chips in the huge vats that they used, and I also started to fry the fish.
Of course the cooks gave me a hand but the results were terrific, a great success.
They asked to do it again but I declined considering that wisdom be the better part of valor.
Another delightful task was loading Lorries with coal from the coal dump and take it around to the main boiler room. This was filthy work.
First, we were given enormous shovels with which to fill hundredweight sacks with coal.
I found this a free for all, with no sense of rhyme or reason to it.
It was each man for himself, and all hell let loose.
Another delightful task was loading Lorries with coal from the coal dump and take it around to the main boiler room. This was filthy work.
First, we were given enormous shovels with which to fill hundredweight sacks with coal.
I found this a free for all, with no sense of rhyme or reason to it.
It was each man for himself, and all hell let loose.
The army did not care as long as we filled the sacks.
I soon put a stop to that. When I could finally get the lads to listen to me I organized the job into sections, the puniest of the bunch on the back of the lorry stacking, the strongest lifting the sacks onto the lorry, and the fast wiry ones filled the sacks at a fantastic rate because we now had room to work.
The sacks were then hefted onto the lorry by the tough guys, and stacked by the puny ones.
We did the job so quickly that we had returned to barracks and showered and changed in a couple of hours before the sergeant discovered us.
He thought that we had not done the job properly, and was amazed by our proficiency.
Although he tried to lumber us with the job after that, it did not matter, because now all the lads wanted to work with me and get it done quickly.
However we got wise and instead of returning to the camp early and getting caught, we would sit about down at the coal dump and have a laugh because we knew the sergeants did not like getting anything dirty.
I Q TESTING
On another occasion, we all had to sit an IQ exam. We had to look at pages of strange shapes and spot the difference or the place the next shape in a sequence.
I finished my test in about twenty minutes and handed it in and he let me go. The others were there ages.
1 The word "smart" can be created using five letters from the word "barnstorm".
True False
2 The digits 08232569 are the same as 96523208 read backwards.
True False
3 If a tree branch can hold three people and John weighs twice as much as Adam, and Rachel weighs half as much as Adam, then Rachel, John and Adam can all sit together on the tree branch safely.
True False
4 There are seven letters between K and R in the alphabet.
True False
5 The number 25 is the next logical number in the following sequence of numbers: 5, 7, 10, 14, 19.
True False
6 The product of 8 x 3 x 3 x 2 is less than the product of 18 x 16.
True False
7 If you multiply any two of the following numbers together, your result will be odd number: 9, 11, 3, 7, 17.
True False
8 If the word SAW is written above the word COW and the word TOO is written above SAW, then the word TOW is formed diagonally.
True False
9 If read backwards, the phrase "now live" answers the question: "In the battle between good and evil, who was victorious?"
True False
10 The following sentence includes all six vowels, appearing in reverse alphabetical order: "Why run from fire ants?"
True False
11 If all Boogles are Battuns, and some Battuns are Trandles, all Trandles must be Boogles.
True False
12 Your starting and ending points will be just one centimetre apart if you draw a line seven centimetres left, three centimetres up, two centimetres right, four centimetres down and five centimetres right.
True False
13 By removing two letters from the word "scout", a word that is the opposite of "in" can be formed.
True False
14 By taking the second letter of each word from the following sentence, you can spell the word "thinking": "At the time, interesting Ukrainians visited Andy's igloo."
True False
15 Walter is taller than Scott, and Scott's little brother is taller than Roger. Since Walter is not the tallest one of the four, then Scott's little brother must be tallest.
True False
16 Five horses, two people, three dogs and seven chickens have a total of 52 legs.
True False
17 If ‘boffing’ is understood to mean ‘shot’ then the following sentence is correct: ‘The young footballer from Gloucester took a desperate boffing, but he was unable to boffing past the star defender.’
True False
18 The sum of all numbers from 8 to 18 is an even number.
True False
19 A group of five people must contain either three mutual friends or three mutual strangers.
True False
20 Fold your hands, starting with your left thumb over your right thumb. If you start counting your digits at your thumbs, your sixth digit will be your right hand's middle finger.
True False
21 By removing two letters from the word "planets", a word that is the opposite of "uproot" can be formed.
True False
22 The number 8336749476338 is the same number whether it is read forwards or backwards.
True False
23 Walter's grandmother's daughter could be Walter's son's grandmother.
True False
24 If the second day of the month is a Friday, then the 12th day of the month is a Tuesday.
True False
25 By removing seven letters from the word "strengthen", the word "rent" can be formed.
True False
26 If you break a twenty dollar bill into fourteen dollars worth of quarters and the rest into dimes, you will have more quarters than dimes. (Dollar = 100 cents; quarter = 25 cents; dime = 10 cents)
True False
27 If Borbs are better than Fribs, and Luns are worse than Jirts, Luns must be better than Fribs if Luns are better than Borbs.
True False
28 Using six toothpicks you can create four equilateral triangles (where each triangle's side is the length of a toothpick).
True False
29 For a sentence with such fine phrasing, there are five instances of the sixth letter from the alphabet here.
True False
30 The sixth to last letter in the alphabet makes just one appearance in this short but active sentence.
True False
31 A new millennium began on 1st January 2001, but the 21st century began on 1st January 2000.
True False
32 If the color red was created by combining blue and green, and the color yellow was created by combining red and purple, then blue could be created by combining yellow and orange.
True False
and so on. Another time after I had done something wrong, and as punishment, I was set to clean the headquarters administration office.
I could not resist going through all the drawers and discovered our personal files. I read all the lads details out to them, which was a scream. The things they had put down about us was beyond belief. I discovered that I had an IQ then of 138, which meant nothing to me, who knew about IQ in those days? Afterwards I realized that this was why they picked me out for duty overseas, because I was thick and would do as I was told.
I was probably the best of the bunch intellectually, which was not saying much, as I thought we were all a sad and a bit dim. We were invited (ha!) to submit an application for any particular posting or area of the country we might prefer.
I put down anywhere near Exeter, on compassionate grounds, claiming that my Mother depended upon me. (What a fool I was) it made no difference at all. Anyway, it was a lie.
Our results finally came through and I had passed top in absolutely everything. I had passed out top of my intake in driving skills and top in practical knowledge.
For the first time in my life, I felt fulfilled and happy. My confidence and self esteem were at its highest and I felt a sense of triumph over those who had so consistently put me down over the years.
Postings went up on the board after days of waiting. I was going to Aldershot, groan, groan!.
Still it could have been worse it could have been at the other end of the country.
We all decided to make the best of a bad job and learn to love Aldershot. We were packed and waiting. The waiting lasted a few days, we were not told when we would go. Eventually a few days later the news came. Were off!
We all paraded for the last time at Blandford Barracks and climbed aboard the Lorries with our kit and a feeling of resignation to go to our new homes.
As usual something went wrong.
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